Parental Burnout
Early in 2023, for a period of 8 weeks, I literally could not get out of bed.
I had officially reached burnout, and the only times I managed to get dressed and leave the house was for an appointment either with my doctor or amazing therapist. At the time, we had a six month energetic puppy, and I could not even manage five minutes of play time with him.
It wasn’t the dog that burned me out.
Or even my hectic teaching job in a busy school (although that didn’t help).
It was the years of solo parenting two neurodivergent children that tipped me over the edge.
Now, of course, I love my children, and would do anything for them, but at the time, the pressures of managing the challenges brought on by their neurodivergence took its toll. They were highly dependent on me, required very explicit instructions, and their self esteem had been bruised in so many ways which led to many late night conversations helping them to regulate their emotions. And as well as dealing with the everyday practicalities, there were all the unseen struggles: worrying about their futures; the time and money it took to find them the right therapies to support them; the sometimes futile conversations with their teachers to get them accommodations in school.
And all of it felt so very lonely. And bewildering. And exhausting.
And by early 2023, my body just couldn’t do it anymore, and demanded rest.
That was a life changing moment for me, when I was forced to face the fact that things needed to change. It was imperative that I learned to look after myself because:
I deserved to have a life that brought me joy and
If I didn’t look after myself, I wasn’t going to be able to look after my kids either
That was a time of transformation for me. Others probably couldn’t see it initially, but some of my core beliefs and values were challenged and changed. I learned to find the joy in the little things, and make time for the hobbies I had discarded in my busyness. I learned to say no when I needed to. I reevaluated what I wanted for my life (and as a result left the hectic teaching job in a busy school).
If any of this resonates with you, I see you. You are doing the best you can to support your kids but now it’s time to look after you too. Having come out the other side of some really tough years, I can tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your kids will find their place in the world and it will get better. So, don’t let that cost you your health and joy right now. Take a deep breath and do something today to look after yourself too.
