Why can’t my child manage their time?

At a recent workshop I ran for parents, time management was the area most identified as a challenge at home.  

‘My child always scrambles at the last minute to meet a deadline.’

 ‘I get emails saying he’s behind in his work.’ 

 ‘She underestimates how long a task will take and then gets stressed, which then stresses me.’

I’m sure many of these sound familiar, but there may be other things going on behind the scenes and poor time management may be the symptom rather than the cause.  So what else could it be and how could we address these challenges?

1. Poor Working Memory and Planning Skills

When I asked my Grade 10 students what stopped them from getting their work done on time, about 30% said that they just don’t remember until the last minute.  They might hear the teacher set the task, but then that information disappears into the ether as soon as they get up and leave the room, only to remember it suddenly the night before it’s due.  Or worse still, it’s information that YOU needed to act on and they only tell you at the last minute (anyone had to pull together a last minute costume recently?).  Things that would help here could include:

What helps?

• Talk through the week ahead every Sunday — look at school, social, and family plans. Use this time to get the kids to clear out their school bag and get organised (and catch those notes from the teacher about dress up days/special events etc.)

• Use visual tools: wall planners, shared calendars, or sticky note maps.

• Ask open questions like, “What’s coming up this week that you need to prep for?”
  

2. Emotional Dysregulation

My Grade 10 class had lots to say about this when we discussed it in class.  Getting off Instagram and starting a task that is less enjoyable is a challenge for many of us.  But is that really because Instagram is so intoxicating?  No, there’s probably something else going on.  About 35% of my students said that their emotions often impede starting a task.  And it’s not just a case of ‘Well I just don’t feel like it’ - there are some deep emotions getting in the way.  Many of my students said 

‘I want my work to be perfect, and I get anxious that it won’t be.’ 

‘I’m not sure I can do it, and it makes me feel stupid’.   

‘I’m going through stuff - you know, I’m a teenager with big emotions and I’m not sure I can handle it right now.’ 

You remember those teenage emotions, right?  They could be so overwhelming, and now our kids are living in an even more pressured world, due to social media, growing competition in schools/jobs and an uncertain political and environmental landscape.  

There are no easy fixes to addressing emotions that get in the way of task initiation.  It requires openness, modelling how to regulate emotions in a healthy way, lots of discussions, and intentional time set aside for rest, relaxation and peace.  

3. Difficulty Breaking Down Big Tasks

In my experience as an Executive Function Coach and as a teacher, this is the main reason young people struggle with task management. 

An assignment like “Write an essay on the causes of World War 2” can feel huge and shapeless.

Students often underestimate how long it will take because they don’t know how to chunk it. They think, “I’ll do it tomorrow,” but “it” is actually five tasks in one: research, plan, write, edit, submit.

When they don’t break it down, they leave it too late and then panic.

🧠 What helps?

• Ask/encourage them to ask questions to help break down the task: ‘What’s your plan?’ ‘What do you need to do first?’ ‘How long will that take?’

• If that’s tricky, use Goblin Tools, an AI tool that helps break down tasks and even estimates how long it will take

• Do they have tools given by the teacher to help with breaking down the task?  A template? A sample answer?

✅ Quick wins:

• Use sticky notes or a whiteboard to map out steps.

• Use your weekly reset meetings/check ins to set next steps

• Make sure they have all the equipment they need in one study space so they can get on with the task (and not get distracted by looking for a pencil/calculator/laptop charger)

Final Thoughts

So, the next time you get exasperated with your child for missing a deadline or getting into a frenzy at the last minute, ask yourself what’s really going on?  Is there another underlying executive function skill that can help us plan, initiate, prioritise and follow through?

If your child struggles with managing time, ask:

🧩 “Is this a working memory issue, a task initiation challenge, or a difficulty breaking down the task?”

Understanding why is the first step toward helping them build strategies that stick.

I'd Love to Hear From You

Have you noticed these challenges with your child? Which strategies have helped (or haven’t)?
Drop a comment below — I’d love to hear what resonates or what questions you still have.

And if you're looking for support, I offer coaching for teens and parents to help build these skills step by step. Contact me here or join my email list for tools, prompts, and resources.