The successful student and executive function skills - success at what cost?
When I met 17 year old S last year, she was doing well at school. She got excellent grades, seemed engaged and was motivated to achieve her dreams. But her parents got to see a different side of her. By the time she got home, she was exhausted, stressed and often struggled to focus, and this impacted her self esteem and relationships. She was doing well at school, it seemed, but at a high cost to her well being and the teachers didn’t see the HOURS she spent procrastinating and stressing about a task.
We worked together and discovered that:
She used passive scrolling to avoid tasks because she just didn’t know what she had to do
Her emotions HUGELY got in the way and she needed strategies to help regulate those
Her sense of perfection led her to spend hours on work, but she was exhausted and there was little room for fun and relaxation.
Together, we explored ways to overcome these difficulties, practising how to break down tasks, schedule in time to kick back and relax and set realistic and achievable goals.
In the end, she achieved her goal of getting a fantastic IBDP score minus the nervous breakdown. She’s now armed with a bunch of strategies to help her through university, and her peers are even using some of her study strategies and habits to help them too.
Executive dysfunction doesn’t always look like total disorganisation. Sometimes, it’s a successful looking, motivated student who goes home and lets the mask fall. They might look like they are doing well, but it’s costing them so much.
Perhaps you recognise this in your own child. Their teachers say they are doing great but you get to see a different side to them at home. When asked why they procrastinate and struggle to start a task, about 40% of my Grade 10 students said it was because their emotions get in the way:
They are perfectionists who worry they can’t get the best grade.
They have limiting self beliefs that paralyse them with fear and anxiety.
They are so exhausted by the busyness of school that they have little energy (or the skills) to successfully start tasks.
Executive function coaching is a great space to explore the reasons, thoughts and emotions behind these barriers as well as learn some new skills to overcome them.
If that sounds like it would be of benefit to your child, get in touch, and like, S, they can find a way through the paralysis and reach their goals without the huge emotional cost.
https://calendly.com/suzanne-clarityeducationcoaching/30min?month=2025-09
